Introduction

This blog is the story of how a dedicated and earnest Christian lost his faith and left the Church. 

Christians speak of their conversion to Christianity in terms of being “born again.” The old self is cast away and a new self in Jesus Christ is born new. When you repent all of your past and future sins are forgiven. The old self is gone forever, giving birth to a new child of God who will exist for eternity—first in their earthly body and then later, after death, in an even better body that will last forever and ever and ever. There is a precise moment in time when this occurs—a conversion event that hinges on a conscious decision of repentance. Ask any Christian. They’ll be able to tell you about the moment they became a "born-again" Christian.

What happens when a Christian changes their mind and wishes to renounce their faith? Can a born-again Christian decide to go back to not being re-born? To do so must they be born-again, again? Or must they become un-born, which, to my understanding, is basically the same thing as being dead? Hopefully not. Because if so, I’m in real trouble. I’ll settle for “re-born again,” or “re-re-born.” Regardless what we choose to call it, some sort of process is involved. For me it was a journey, not a singular event. I can’t tell you a precise moment when I became a re-re-born non-Christian, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

What is my purpose in sharing my journey? Am I on some sort of mission to de-convert people of Faith? Absolutely not. My aim is to provide encouragement to those on a similar path. I know you’re out there. My journey has been at times lonely and painful.  In retrospect, I would have enjoyed more company along the way. What I am writing now and plan to write in future posts would have been a welcome friend to me. To know that someone else had gone through what I was going through, and (more importantly) had come out the other side more alive and more awake and more full of hope and joy and wonder and love than ever before, would have been encouraging and comforting news indeed.

And, to be perfectly honest, I have another motive. I want my friends and family to have a chance to wrap their minds around the re-re-born me. As far as I know, they all still think I’m a believer. That’s what Christians do. They categorize people into two camps. Believers and non-believers. This is my official coming-out as a non-believer. My wife knows everything about me, but how do I tell everybody else? How do I help them understand? This seemed like the best way. Now I can skip a bunch of awkward conversations that could never do justice to my journey and just say, “Hey, if you want to know more about how I became a heathen, take a look at my blog—and oh, by the way, my kids are a couple of heathens too.”

So, for those who want company, for those who want to understand, or for those who are merely bored and curious, read on.

If you’re a believer, beware. Leaving Christianity is a lot harder than it looks.